Here Another Year

I have been trying to get my blog caught up but I am taking a minute to remember today.  It was January 15, 2013 that I had my surgery and was officially diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian Cancer.  At least officially to me anyway.  Here it is two years later and I am still here.  I did not think about I am going to die and no one has told me that I have a set time to live so do not think that I have beaten any odds in that way.  However, I do feel pretty lucky to be still here two years later and still doing what I can do.  Did I think I would be out of work due to cancer? Nope but I am.  Did I think I would fall getting off Amtrak? Nope, but I did.  Do not worry, I will post about those to catch you all up but that was some of the thoughts I had today.

So, it has been two years and I am still here.  I hope to be here for many more years if I can help it.

Jenn :)

Tummy Troubles

Okay, so while on the pause in my treatment my stomach started acting up. It was like I would eat a little something and then feel really bloated afterwards.  Totally not normal.  And not fun either!!

I go to the emergency room twice and nothing.  I then feel so bad that after texting with Husband, I call for an ambulance to take me back to the emergency room.

While there I get a tube down my nose into my stomach.  That is so not a nice experience and I am glad that has been the only time I have had it done.  I am also admitted to the hospital.  I get "fixed" by having some liquid sucked from my stomach and put on a liquid diet.  That feels better!!

So after being discharged I then return to have a G Tube put in my stomach.  It is sometimes referred to as a Peg Tube.  While having this put in, I am put under a little sleepy medicine so I do not know what is going on.  I am glad as I do not think I want to know how it was put in.

So, let us try something fun.  About two days after this tube was put in, it just fell out while I was walking through the kitchen.  I was stunned and just stood there for a second or two.  I called my mom who said to bag it and go to the emergency room.  And away I go!!

The emergency room doctor tried to put it back in.  I was trying to avoid a hospital stay so that is why I agreed to him doing that.  I do not think I will do that again.  He did not get it in and so I am in the hospital that night to have it put back in me in the morning.  The nurses were quite surprised to see me back and to hear the tube fell out.  Yeah, it was just one of those things!! Just wish it had not happened to me.

So, long story short, it is still in.  I am back on solid foods.  I also have to keep it clean.  The home health care nurses that helped keep it clean at first was a great help also.  I do not enjoy it still being in there but this is something that I think that cannot be taken out and put in as you want so it stays in for now.  It gets a little irritated feeling around the tube has been put in.  So, I am learning to live with it.  It is what it is!

Jenn

Pause in Treatment

Since I was having some reactions to the chemo and Avastin, my doctor decided it was time to pause chemo and Avastin.  I am pretty sure at that time I will be stopping the Avastin.  The chemo was causing fluid in my ankles and feet to build up and the Avastin was causing high blood pressure.

I am not sure how long the pause will be but secretly, I was glad for it.  Not having to do chemo and Avastin was nice.  I was a little worried though about what might happen since I was on a break from treatment.  How nice to just go for blood work!!

So, I will just have to wait and see what happens.  I hope that there will not be any hospital visits for anything new.  Crossing my fingers!!

Jenn

Ankle Swollen?!

So, I get up to get ready for work on a Monday morning when I noticed that my left ankle keeps swelling.  I am a little curious as to why and what is going on as I do not remember doing anything to cause it to swell.  I get a little nervous and go to a urgent care place to get it checked out.  The doctor there tells me that I have somehow sprained it and need to stay off of it as much as possible for the next two days.  With that, I have a note to go back home and not go to work.  I am still confused on how I sprained it.

It is the second night and the swelling has not gone down.  The Avastin can cause blood clots and with having had one in my arm back in about 2009, I get a little worried and go to the emergency room.  Thankfully, it is not a blood clot but still off for another work day.  What the heck?!

Finally figured out that it was the chemo that I was on that was causing the swelling in now both ankles.  I now have cankles.  I am not old enough for this!! I am now wearing two different slip on shoes because of the swelling as my feet have swelled up a bit too.  The doctor has given me some medicine to help control the fluid and it does not increase but does not go away.

I am glad we figured out what was causing it but I do not like this.  Not one bit!! What else can I do for now?!

The doctor is talking about pausing chemo for a bit as with this new side effect, it probably will not get any better.  I do not know how I totally feel about that but if the swelling goes down and nothing else goes wrong, a pause in treatment might be nice?

Another new adventure in cancer!! Glad it is over with but more on that later.

Jenn

Staff Attachment

So, I am over 30 and I still get attached to people.  At my age, I would like some things to stay the same.  One of the medical assistants left the office for another job.  It meant more responsibility and a pay raise for her.  My problem, I had gotten attached to her.  I knew how to joke around with her, I gave her a "weather report" (weather was bad until she got off work and then it would be awesome) and she had been the one to take out my staples.

I miss her being there.  I miss her humor but I am glad that she "moved up" with her work.  It is funny how I got attached to her being there and never gave it another thought about her leaving.  She has been gone for a few months now and I miss her being there. 

Do you ever get "attached" to certain people in your doctor's office? Do you ever find yourself missing them if they are not there? Maybe I just got set in my ways?

I hope no one else leaves the office.  I do not know if I can do this anymore!!

Jenn

One Year Ago

This may not be a terribly long post but I did want to at least remember the date.

One year ago, on January 15, 2013, I had surgery to remove a large mass and some fluid.  Never before had I been secretly excited for a surgery.  The only other surgery I got excited for was my hysterectomy in 2009.  The reason for the excitement was that this thing, plus fluid, was going to be removed.  Gone.  Good-bye to you.

A year later I am still getting chemo.  In fact, I had chemo, and Avastin, today.  Am I where I want to be? Yes, and no.  I want to be alive, and I am.  Thank God and to so many people praying for me.  I can never thank you enough for doing that.  That means so much you would do that for me.

Do I still want to be getting chemo? No.  But if it means somehow I live another day, week or month, I will do it.  The side effects of this chemo and Avastin are okay and I can live with the sniffles (thanks Avastin), the aches, the tiredness, chemo brain (big dislike!!) and testing for protein (thanks again to Avastin).

I have made some adjustments in how I do things now.  I may be a little more tired so I stay home more.  I am a little frustrated that I cannot remember some things during conversations.  That makes me want to stay home and not suffer from embarrassment in public.  The smell of seafood is horrible now.  It was not always nice but now it is worse.  I cannot do chicken salad sandwiches now because I ate to many from the volunteers who bring lunch at chemo.  

But, if those are my main complaints, in the grand scheme of things, it is not so bad.  I am lucky.  I still get excited to go do things.  I still am able to work.  I should do more though.  Am I too hard on myself? Yes.  Who isn't though?

So, a year later I am still here.  I am glad. Thank you God!!

Jenn

Guess Who Got A Haircut?

Yes, I got a haircut.  Well, maybe just a trim as I am not sure what I want to do with my hair - grow it out or keep it short.  I asked the nice lady who cut my hair just to trim it up for me.  I like it!!

I was a little nervous to get a haircut.  The last one I got was almost a year ago when chemo was making my hair fall out.  The lady who cut my hair was very nice and did a great job at making me feel comfortable with getting the haircut.  

I liked her skills and personality so much that I actually rebooked with her that day.  I really enjoyed that she made my hair look good and gave it a trim that I can still work with myself.  I am a no fuss girl at fixing my hair.

So, it went well and I cannot wait to go again!! 

Jenn