Feelings

I think that so far I have been writing about what procedures have been done on me and quick little moments of how I feel about those procedures.  I do not think I have written too much about how I feel emotionally about all of this.  So, I thought I would take this time to talk a little bit about it so far.  I hope you do not mind my ramblings.

I do not know if I have dealt well with being diagnosed with cancer.  I do not know if I really let myself "explore" those feelings.  I have been slightly afraid that if I do, I might end up in bed crying for the next three days.  I did not want to be that girl who felt sorry for herself and used cancer as an excuse to not do things or to get out of doing some things.  I have wanted to feel somewhat normal though.  As normal as I could with chemo, hair loss, fatigue and going back to work.

I am lucky that the nurse practioner at my oncology office "checks in" on me emotionally.  She will ask some questions and I have gotten more comfortable speaking with her about how I feel.  I am glad that she is someone I can talk to about this experience and that she makes me feel comfortable enough to bring up what I may think are silly questions.

I am also glad that most everyone has treated me "normally" and has not put on kid gloves with me.  It is okay if you do though.  I do not mind but it is nice if you treat me as normal as possible.

I also get a little tired by the time I get home from work.  I am getting in the "hours" of sleep but I just feel wore out.  Sometimes that is a bit hard to deal with as my mind says "We have stuff we need to do" but my body may so "No, I am tired!!" So I will try to see what I really need to do and then get that done.  Weekends are great for catching up on rest, television shows and some crafty stuff!!

I am trying to deal with this in a positive manner though.  I do have times where I get down, discouraged and just plain old crying over this cancer thing.  That is normal and okay.  I try to remember that it is okay to feel these emotions but I do not want to dwell on them.  Instead, I want to do something good, something positive, something where I feel like I have accomplished something.

Thank you to all who have "checked in" on me as well.  It does mean a lot that you all care enough to see how I am really doing and feeling.  Thank you!! Also, your encouragement helps a lot too!! I do appreciate that!!

Jenn

Recent Fluid Evacuation

Yesterday I had fluid removed from my lung area.  It was not in my lung but like between my lung and rib area in my back.  This procedure is called a thoracentesis.  Fun? No, not really but I feel better.  I was expecting to have a paracentesis done as well but after both a nurse and a radiologist checked it out by ultrasound, there was not enough fluid to remove so I did not have that procedure done.  I was hoping for both but really, the thoracentesis ended up being just what I needed to have done.  Usually, both procedures are NOT done at the same time.  Just do not expect you can do both like I was expecting to do.

The purpose of taking the fluid from the lung area was so that cancer cells could be grown and tested with other chemo agents to add to my treatment of Avastin.  I have no idea how long this will take for the lab to do.  It seems very high tech kind of stuff to me but that is cool that this can be done now.  I do not mind.

The fluid is "drained" off the area once you are numbed up enough.  I do not think there was enough numbing but I would have hated to try this without any numbing of the back area.  I did not feel much but what I did feel was like a large pin prick or a large bee sting.  Very attention getting and a bit uncomfortable.  I was awake for all of it and talking to the two nurses and radiologist to try and get my mind off as much of the procedure as possible.  That did help to hear about a wedding one of the nurses went to over the weekend.

Again, I was very lucky to have people who had good humor and would talk to me about something "silly" and know how to help so I did not terribly freak out or complain.  Afterwards, I had a chest x-ray to make sure everything looked like it should, and it did!! I was monitored for about two hours and then Husband came to pick me up.  We went to lunch afterwards.  (I was moving a bit slow out of caution but we did not have to really hurry anywhere so that helped too.)

I now can say that I am glad I did this.  I feel much better and I am only a little sore at the injection site. I think that might be a bit normal because needles and other things were used during the process.  I did not sleep very well last night but am quite sure I will tonight!! I would like to avoid doing this procedure again but will if I absolutely need to.  I would rather do the paracentesis over the thoracentesis any day!! But I am getting a "hands-on" medical education about some procedures?

Jenn

Fluid Evacuation!!

My doctor finally got the recommendation from the other doctor in Northern Virginia.  Yahoo!! Now, the fluid will be taken off my lung area for testing for another chemo drug to use in connection with the Avastin.

I am excited to know if there is another chemo that can work with the Avastin.  I hope that one is found that I can use.  However, I am a little prepared for the news of nothing worked.  I guess it is the prepare for the worst and hope for the best kind of attitude going on with me.

Also, fluid on the abdomen area will be taken off in the same visit.  Usually, both procedures are not done at the same time.  Somehow the nurse at the doctor's office pulled some strings and both will be done during in the same visit.  I am so glad as I had been somewhat uncomfortable while going to sleep so that is why I spoke up.  And I am glad I did!!

Am I nervous to do both in the same day? Yes, yes I am.  There are always risks with everything.  I am remind of how I felt after the last fluid was taken off.  I did feel better.  I am also thinking of how the doctor is trying to find something to help treat me.  I will try to do what I can to help out!!

So, here goes nothing!!

Jenn

Northern Virginia Doctor Consultation

So, after finding a growth in the CT Scan, my doctor realized the two chemo drugs I was receiving was not working.  He was not sure why and wanted me to go to another doctor to talk about what to do next.  That doctor just happened to be in Northern Virginia.  Four hour car ride!!

My dad, his wife and my husband made the trek up there the night before.  I do not think any of us was familiar with the area but was lucky enough to not get lost!! Our hotel had an IHOP attached to it and that was our breakfast and dinner while we were there.

I was nervous to talk with the doctor.  My main fear was some really bad news.  He did say that I feel into a percentage of people who did not respond to a particular chemo.  He did say that there are other chemo treatments I can try.

As far as finding out which chemo to try, my best bet would be to take some fluid off my lung area, grow the cancer cells from there and test it against the other chemo drugs used in ovarian cancer.  I think he said there was about 15 other drugs that would be possible.  If I right, which ever chemo works best is the one yo be added to my treatment.  

The doctor also suggested genetic testing to see if I carry a gene for breast and ovarian cancer.  If it is found that I do carry the gene, my sister might have to get tested as well.  That is a scary thought to know that she has a chance of this as well.  First we will have to see about if I have the gene or not before anyone else is tested.  One step at a time!!

The doctor also said that as of right now, my current treatment of Avastin was the right path to go.  That was good to know.  Also, I can stay on the Avastin while on chemo.  I will try to talk a bit more about Avastin in another post.

I was very glad this doctor knew a direction to go in.  He knew how to talk to us in simple to understand terms.  No big fancy terms we would have to look up later!! He definitely had experience on his side!!

I am ready to get started on getting this fluid for testing.  Not sure how long this process will take.  This doctor will also send his recommendations to my doctor so he will know what to do for me.  I am excited and nervous about this all wrapped up into one.  

Praying for good news!!

Jenn

Some Growth

So, when I went to the Emergency Room I had a CT Scan. The fluid was confirmed but there was also something I was not expecting.

There was another growth. Yeah, that was definitely NOT what I wanted to hear. So, off to the doctor I go!!

Apparently, the chemo drugs I was receiving was not working for me. That was a little hard to hear because I was really wanting it to hear from the doctor that this was working and that I only have a few more treatments to go.

So, now what? My doctor set me up with a consultation with another doctor who may know something else to do for treatment. Is there another treatment for me?

In the interim, the doctor switched me to another cancer drug called Avastin. It will not have the same side effects as the chemo but there are some other side effects I have to watch out for. The main one is high blood pressure.

So, waiting to see the new doctor for my consultation. I wonder what that will bring?!

Jenn

Umm....There is Fluid in There!!

When I had my surgery, the doctor took out four liters of fluid.  If you have never had fluid in your abdomen area, be glad.  I got a little bloated due to the fluid but mainly bloated due to the tumor.  Also, if I turned quickly to the right or to the left, I could feel the fluid "flow" that way.  Odd feeling!! Just plain old weird.  I had hoped that would be the end of the fluid and it would not come back.

Well, the fluid did come back.  It seemed to take some time to build up to where I was uncomfortable.  My doctor's office was trying to get in me in for a CT Scan of my abdomen but that was a whole mess with the insurance company.  Essentially, the denied it.  They wanted to do a Peer to Peer Review with the doctor.  The young lady who tries to set these types of appointments up said that the Peer to Peer Reviews usually do not go well.  That was not sounding good at all.  She also told me that if I got to the point of being uncomfortable, I could go ahead to a local Emergency Room and see what happened there.

After much talk with my husband, I went to a local Emergency Room.  They did a CT Scan there and I had fluid in my abdomen.  (Not like I did not know that anyway but at least it was confirmed!) The Emergency Room physician explained that I had two choices - see if the Radiology Department there at the hospital could "fit" me into their schedule tomorrow but I would have to stay overnight or I could go home and talk it over with my doctor.  I asked the doctor to see if I could be fit in with the Radiology Department tomorrow and if I could be, I would stay overnight.  Luck was on my side!!

I spent overnight in an Observation Room and really did not know what time I was going to be seen by someone in the Radiology Department.  Lucky for me, they came at about 8:00 a.m. and I was on my way!!

The procedure was not as bad as I had made it out to be in my head.  There were two ladies there that were as nice as can be!! I really enjoyed talking with them and our conversation seemed to be focused a lot on travel.  Nice way to take my mind off getting poked and being drained.  They did an ultrasound, found the fluid and figured out to take it out on my left side.  Now, I am going to describe this process but it was not really painful as I thought it would be.

What they did was to numb an area on the lower side of my stomach.  They also used a needle to numb me a bit below the skin.  Thank goodness!! After I was good and numb as can be, a tube was inserted in the area and the fluid started to drain out.  The fluid was an amber like color.  It was not clear but it looked as normal as can be according to the ladies there.  So glad it all looked okay.

Ready for this? They drained three and a half liters out of me!! Wow!! I could not believe that I had accumulated that much fluid!! What the heck was going on there? I think it is some way for the body to deal with the cancer in my body but do not hold me to that.  If you want a correct answer, ask your doctor!! They probably will know better than me!!

Once that was done, I ended up calling my doctors office to let them know so if they needed to obtain those records, they could do so.  I also ended up with an appointment with my doctor to discuss this and a few other new things.  (That will be covered in a later post.)

The name of this procedure was called Paracentesis.  It did not hurt too much.  All I really felt was a prick, or two.  I really felt a lot of relief once the fluid was out.  I was not as uncomfortable as I was the day before.  How nice was that!!

Will this happen again? Probably.  Will I have to do it again? Probably.  At least I know what to expect and the doctor and nurse practitioner can keep an eye on it.  If it does have to be done again, we can just go ahead and set up an appointment to get it done without having to go to the Emergency Room and that whole deal again.  I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens.

Thanks for stopping by!!

Jenn