Okay, so I did post the results to my friends and family on Facebook but I do need to keep up with my blog here and post the results of the last CT Scan on here for you to read as well. And for me to keep everyone up to date on what happened with it.
So, getting the CT Scan done this time was a LOT easier. I was contacted by the hospital and set up a time to do the test. I try to do it at a hospital near my home and I can get to it pretty easily. I also try to do it late in the day so I can work most all of the day and not have to take much more time off from work. My employer has been VERY wonderful at allowing time off for tests, chemo, seeing doctors, etc..
I also had to pick up some special "drink" to take before the test. Two bottles to drink at different times, plus no eating after a certain time and I think I might have been okay with drinking water but do not hold me to that! So, the special "drink" was a thick milk like consistency but did not taste like milk at all. More like Milk of Magnesia but I somehow was able to try and drink each bottle as fast as I can. Definitely not a tasty drink.
Getting a CT Scan is nothing scary now. I have done it about three times now. Maybe four times (but who's counting?!). Anyway, this time went a lot smoother. I got there to the hospital, got all checked in and then had to wait my turn. Once I got in there, I remained pretty calm as I knew what to expect. The "warm sensation" still gets me. The best way to describe that is how one person described it to me - you are going to feel like you just went to the bathroom on yourself (you peed on yourself to be exact). It does feel like that. Freakiest thing ever so far but it goes away after a few minutes and I forget all about it. And the results are sent to the doctor. I think I went for my test after Wednesday on one week and would not get the results until the Wednesday of next week. Did I freak out on waiting? No, I did not. The news was either going to be good or bad. But I had already been told I had cancer so could it really get any worse?!
Well, the results were really awesome! At least I thought so anyway. The growth shrank and shrank almost in half!! Yahoo!! The drugs are working!! The measurement before the CT Scan was about 6.5 and now the new measurement was about 3.3. I think that it was measured in centimeters so I have NO clue how big and now how small. At least it shrank!! That means something is working. Drugs and prayers are awesome!! Funny now how I appreciate getting the fluid off my back to see if there is another chemotherapy drug I might could use. It definitely makes the Thoracentesis worth it!!
So, I was excited!! Most everyone else seemed excited about the news as well. I sure hope this keeps up.
I am still receiving chemotherapy and Avastin but the doctor and nurse practitioner seem to think that some "time off" from chemo might do me good. Give my body a break. I wonder when that will happen? But I got some good news from this CT Scan. Encouraging!!
Thank you all for keeping little old me in your thoughts and prayers. You did help!! Keep up the good work everyone!! I appreciate it!!
Thank you!!
Jenn
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thanksgiving
I am so glad to have slept in this morning as I had the day off from work. I was so hoping to go to Cracker Barrel today for their delicious Thanksgiving food!! I sure do love to eat there!! Well, that got changed later this morning. We are now going to another place with a buffet. I really did not want to go there as usually, I over eat there because I keep thinking I have to get my money's worth while I am there. The last time I was there, I did not eat a lot but a family member wanted to go there for their birthday and I went. I just do not like buffets much anymore as I just do not eat what I think I paid for the meal. But, I am keeping the peace and not demanding we go to a particular place.
While taking my shower I started thinking about the whole deal of where we would go to eat today. The four of us eating together all had a different place we wanted to go eat for our meal today. Probably most of us just assumed we would go to one particular place. One of us wanted to eat at home but no one planned for that so that was not too much of an option today.
Then there was a thought that occurred to me. How lucky are we that we had a few different conversations this morning about where we wanted to eat? There are people living in other countries, or even in this country, who would love to have the problem of each of us wanting to eat at a certain place. How much would some people love to have the problem of picking out where their next hot meal would be? How lucky are we to have options on Thanksgiving to eat somewhere other than home? (No one really discussed what we were doing until this morning.)
Even though we are going to a buffet today, I am thankful that I am spending it with family. Sure, I will be able to find something to eat at the place we are going to eat today. Others may not be able to say as much. Others may get their next meal from a soup kitchen, the dumpster or not at all. And here I am complaining about not going to Cracker Barrel today!! Cracker Barrel will be there tomorrow, the next day and next week. Family may not be here tomorrow.
How lucky am I to spend today with family? Very lucky!!
Now, let us go get some turkey and be somewhat miserable this evening!!
Jenn
While taking my shower I started thinking about the whole deal of where we would go to eat today. The four of us eating together all had a different place we wanted to go eat for our meal today. Probably most of us just assumed we would go to one particular place. One of us wanted to eat at home but no one planned for that so that was not too much of an option today.
Then there was a thought that occurred to me. How lucky are we that we had a few different conversations this morning about where we wanted to eat? There are people living in other countries, or even in this country, who would love to have the problem of each of us wanting to eat at a certain place. How much would some people love to have the problem of picking out where their next hot meal would be? How lucky are we to have options on Thanksgiving to eat somewhere other than home? (No one really discussed what we were doing until this morning.)
Even though we are going to a buffet today, I am thankful that I am spending it with family. Sure, I will be able to find something to eat at the place we are going to eat today. Others may not be able to say as much. Others may get their next meal from a soup kitchen, the dumpster or not at all. And here I am complaining about not going to Cracker Barrel today!! Cracker Barrel will be there tomorrow, the next day and next week. Family may not be here tomorrow.
How lucky am I to spend today with family? Very lucky!!
Now, let us go get some turkey and be somewhat miserable this evening!!
Jenn
Sunday, September 29, 2013
CT Scan
This past Thursday I had another CT Scan. My doctor ordered this one and he will be using the results to see if we are on track with the chemo, Avastin and Femara. I am really hoping that these drugs are stopping the growth from growing any further. I would love to hear that it is shrinking but I would be happy with it is not getting any bigger.
I think I have had more CT Scans since around Christmas 2012 than I have had in my whole life. I think that I am up to four of them now. CT Scans are starting to become easier now (if that is even possible). Now, I do not dread them. I know what happens, I know what to expect and this last one went smoothly. I was in and out in no time (probably 30 minutes after getting checked in at the hospital). Who knew that I would not mind these as much now?! After having some problems getting approved for one in the Spring and going to the ER because of fluid (they did a CT Scan then), then someone telling me I needed a prescription for the drink and then being told I did not need a prescription for it (that was a pain!!) and now, this one went really smooth. See, that was three of them right there!! The first one was at Christmas. Four, a grand total of at least four CT Scans. How did I ever get so lucky?!
Anyway, these do not bother me now. I am okay with them as I now know what to expect. I think that if I know what to expect with a procedure, I am less nervous about it. I would rather be a little relaxed during a procedure because I understand what is going to happen than be nervous because I have never done it before and know nothing about it. I sure hope I am not the only one that is like that!!
Are there tests that you do that you are okay with now? How do you handle tests like CT Scans, X-Rays or other procedures?
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
I think I have had more CT Scans since around Christmas 2012 than I have had in my whole life. I think that I am up to four of them now. CT Scans are starting to become easier now (if that is even possible). Now, I do not dread them. I know what happens, I know what to expect and this last one went smoothly. I was in and out in no time (probably 30 minutes after getting checked in at the hospital). Who knew that I would not mind these as much now?! After having some problems getting approved for one in the Spring and going to the ER because of fluid (they did a CT Scan then), then someone telling me I needed a prescription for the drink and then being told I did not need a prescription for it (that was a pain!!) and now, this one went really smooth. See, that was three of them right there!! The first one was at Christmas. Four, a grand total of at least four CT Scans. How did I ever get so lucky?!
Anyway, these do not bother me now. I am okay with them as I now know what to expect. I think that if I know what to expect with a procedure, I am less nervous about it. I would rather be a little relaxed during a procedure because I understand what is going to happen than be nervous because I have never done it before and know nothing about it. I sure hope I am not the only one that is like that!!
Are there tests that you do that you are okay with now? How do you handle tests like CT Scans, X-Rays or other procedures?
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
Monday, September 23, 2013
Job Goodness
I have been thinking about what I should post about now that my treatment has become "routine" now. Plus, no new adventures to post about - no fluid removal, no new doctor consults, no new drugs to take now. So, I have thought a bit about my job.
About three years ago I was let go from one job and on the hunt for work. Now I look at it as a blessing but at the time, it was not!! I definitely wanted to work. I filled out plenty of online applications, offline applications and had a few interviews. I lucked out getting an interview in a really small law firm. He took a chance on little ol' me and hired me. I am still working for him now.
My boss has been absolutely awesome. He has worked with me on letting me have the time off for surgery, holding my job and letting me ease back into work. I am sure that was not easy for him to do. Especially since he and another attorney decided to merge their firms about six months before my surgery and diagnosis. He has been very patient!!
I really could not have asked for a better work place, either. The people I now work with let me work as I need and do not try to "baby" me or pity me in any way. I try my best to work hard there but also have a great smile while there. I like a fun work environment when it is able to happen!! I am just glad that these guys and gals have seen past that I have cancer and made me feel normal and a part of the team.
I always wanted to work with such awesome people. So glad to know it still can be done!!
I am not sure they will ever see this post but I am very thankful for a job I actually look forward to going to every day and people who I like working with. I so wanted a job like that!! Lucky me!!
Jenn
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Weekends
The weekends have been a great time for me to relax. It feels like I spend a lot of the week at work, then I come home to make dinner, get ready for tomorrow, try to relax, go to bed and then get up to do it again tomorrow. I have also started to make some Christmas presents (crocheted Christmas presents) and I am trying to hurry up and get those done. Yes, I know it is only September but I want to make sure they are done by Christmas.
Sometimes Sundays seem to be the worse of the "I feel run down and tired" of my weekend. I have no clue how I make it all week to get to Sunday and feel like I have been worked hard!! I have a lot of things that I want to get done on the weekends but there are those times I may do a few things and have to be happy that I got those things done and see if I can get some other things done during the week.
I am trying to remind myself of "little victories" are okay. Getting some things done are fine, as long as I am getting something done. Right? I hope so!!
Well, just thought I would share this with you. If you know anyone else who has cancer, gets treatments and feels the same way on the weekend, give the person a pass please. Or celebrate with them when they tell you they got the bathroom cleaned themselves? It sounds silly but maybe they are happy to have the energy to do it themselves.
Thank you!!
Jenn
Sometimes Sundays seem to be the worse of the "I feel run down and tired" of my weekend. I have no clue how I make it all week to get to Sunday and feel like I have been worked hard!! I have a lot of things that I want to get done on the weekends but there are those times I may do a few things and have to be happy that I got those things done and see if I can get some other things done during the week.
I am trying to remind myself of "little victories" are okay. Getting some things done are fine, as long as I am getting something done. Right? I hope so!!
Well, just thought I would share this with you. If you know anyone else who has cancer, gets treatments and feels the same way on the weekend, give the person a pass please. Or celebrate with them when they tell you they got the bathroom cleaned themselves? It sounds silly but maybe they are happy to have the energy to do it themselves.
Thank you!!
Jenn
Thursday, August 22, 2013
I Forgot
Funny thing about being on chemo again, I forget a lot. I think it is a side effect of chemo that I will forget things. I do not like this side effect though but it makes for some interesting conversations though!! (Trying to look at a positive here.)
For example, I might be in the middle of a conversation with someone and want to ask them if I can borrow their pen. I might end up asking if I can borrow something and usually get that look of what something is it you want?! Or I will get a little flustered at myself and say never mind. It is frustrating to have conversations like that. If I do this with you, I am sorry. If you want to have a little fun with it, please go ahead. I usually have a good sense of humor so if in the middle of a conversation I just stop and look at like "What is it I wanted to tell you," feel free to have some fun with it if you want. It might make for a nice little laugh for today!!
Also, I have had to write things down more. I just cannot trust my brain to remember what to do. Luckily, I have a little notebook at work that I write down important tasks in so I can just look at it and know I wrote something down, look in there to do it! Post-It Notes have been a big help as well. The only problem with them, they seem to multiply on my desk. I will have all kinds of them all over and about every evening before going home, I have to take the time to see what I wrote down, do I need it, did I e-mail it to whoever, did I call them back yet and then toss them out if I completed the task. They are everywhere sometimes!!
So, if you are having a conversation with me, or another chemo patient, please be patient if we just stop during a sentence and look at you like I know what I want to say but cannot get it out. It truly is a bit frustrating for me (I cannot speak for any other chemo patient though) and I just ask for a little patience. And maybe a little humor?
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
For example, I might be in the middle of a conversation with someone and want to ask them if I can borrow their pen. I might end up asking if I can borrow something and usually get that look of what something is it you want?! Or I will get a little flustered at myself and say never mind. It is frustrating to have conversations like that. If I do this with you, I am sorry. If you want to have a little fun with it, please go ahead. I usually have a good sense of humor so if in the middle of a conversation I just stop and look at like "What is it I wanted to tell you," feel free to have some fun with it if you want. It might make for a nice little laugh for today!!
Also, I have had to write things down more. I just cannot trust my brain to remember what to do. Luckily, I have a little notebook at work that I write down important tasks in so I can just look at it and know I wrote something down, look in there to do it! Post-It Notes have been a big help as well. The only problem with them, they seem to multiply on my desk. I will have all kinds of them all over and about every evening before going home, I have to take the time to see what I wrote down, do I need it, did I e-mail it to whoever, did I call them back yet and then toss them out if I completed the task. They are everywhere sometimes!!
So, if you are having a conversation with me, or another chemo patient, please be patient if we just stop during a sentence and look at you like I know what I want to say but cannot get it out. It truly is a bit frustrating for me (I cannot speak for any other chemo patient though) and I just ask for a little patience. And maybe a little humor?
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
I'm Tired!!
So, usually you hear children tell you "I'm tired" - this can be an excuse to get out of doing just about anything. They will try and try hard to use an excuse to get out of about anything!! But as an adult, I am definitely not trying to get out of anything. I actually want to be up and going. I want to feel "normal" (not tired) and not feel like I want a nap, or two, about every day.
How did I get to the "I'm tired" point? I think it might be the chemo causing some fatigue. While I had a break between the different chemo's and was only being treated with Avastin, I felt fine. I was not tired. Now, I'm tired.
I really dislike feeling like this. I dislike wanting naps about two or three hours after I have gotten up to start my day. I dislike feeling sleepy while looking around in a store trying to pick up a new item of clothing for work. I dislike feeling tired when I come home from work (I work in an office. It's not like I work a physical job all day). Please do not take this next thought wrong but I am glad that I do not have kids. Kids are a big deal and deserve a lot of attention. I would also want to keep them busy doing the things they love. I would not want to be tired and miss something totally awesome with them (I hope someone totally understands this).
So, how do I deal with this? I try to keep moving at work. I will get up and go get something to drink. Walk around the office to put something up, file some paperwork, or whatever I can do to keep me up and moving to try to shake off the sleep/tiredness. Also, I may go to bed a little earlier (maybe around 8:30 p.m. I will be in bed to wind down to be asleep by 9:00 p.m.). I try to limit caffeine during the day so I am not all of a sudden wide awake at 8:00 p.m. and cannot go to sleep. (That makes for a bad day at work the next day.)
If you know someone who is dealing with chemo treatments and they complain that they are tired, please try to be understanding. It may be the chemo that is causing the fatigue and nothing they are doing themselves. So many times it may be easy to say "Why are you tired? You don't do anything?" and be a bit aggravated at the comment. I find myself wondering why I am tired!! Please be understanding though. Help maybe by just listening and talking it through with them. Fatigue and trying to be "normal" has been a bit of a struggle lately. I guess I will have to work with it the best I can.
If you had chemo, or knew someone who had/is having chemo treatments, and are fatigued, what did you do to deal with it? Or, are you on medicine that makes you fatigued? How did you deal?
Thanks!!
Jenn
How did I get to the "I'm tired" point? I think it might be the chemo causing some fatigue. While I had a break between the different chemo's and was only being treated with Avastin, I felt fine. I was not tired. Now, I'm tired.
I really dislike feeling like this. I dislike wanting naps about two or three hours after I have gotten up to start my day. I dislike feeling sleepy while looking around in a store trying to pick up a new item of clothing for work. I dislike feeling tired when I come home from work (I work in an office. It's not like I work a physical job all day). Please do not take this next thought wrong but I am glad that I do not have kids. Kids are a big deal and deserve a lot of attention. I would also want to keep them busy doing the things they love. I would not want to be tired and miss something totally awesome with them (I hope someone totally understands this).
So, how do I deal with this? I try to keep moving at work. I will get up and go get something to drink. Walk around the office to put something up, file some paperwork, or whatever I can do to keep me up and moving to try to shake off the sleep/tiredness. Also, I may go to bed a little earlier (maybe around 8:30 p.m. I will be in bed to wind down to be asleep by 9:00 p.m.). I try to limit caffeine during the day so I am not all of a sudden wide awake at 8:00 p.m. and cannot go to sleep. (That makes for a bad day at work the next day.)
If you know someone who is dealing with chemo treatments and they complain that they are tired, please try to be understanding. It may be the chemo that is causing the fatigue and nothing they are doing themselves. So many times it may be easy to say "Why are you tired? You don't do anything?" and be a bit aggravated at the comment. I find myself wondering why I am tired!! Please be understanding though. Help maybe by just listening and talking it through with them. Fatigue and trying to be "normal" has been a bit of a struggle lately. I guess I will have to work with it the best I can.
If you had chemo, or knew someone who had/is having chemo treatments, and are fatigued, what did you do to deal with it? Or, are you on medicine that makes you fatigued? How did you deal?
Thanks!!
Jenn
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Femara
My doctor finally got the report back from the testing of the fluid in the lung area. There were a few different chemo's we can use and we decided on one. I will post on that one later. The nurse practitioner put me on Femara. So, what is it?
Femara is usually given to breast cancer patients. It somehow works to block estrogen (I believe) or at least some hormone I produce. I thought that if it might help, this is okay and let's try it. There are some side effects (what drug does not have side effects?!) with this drug.
Since it blocks some hormone's, I have been getting some menopause symptoms. Mainly, some hot flashes. I am not at all liking these little new occurrence's!! They seem to happen at most any time during the day, or not. One minute I feel fine and the next I feel like someone turned on a heater inside me. Since taking it, I have had two days at work where I did start to sweat. I really did go to the bathroom to rub a towel that I had run under cold water on the back of my neck to try to help me cool down. I have also awoke feeling like my bed was a sauna and was sweating a little bit as well. Really, I can do without this part!!
Also, I have felt a bit more tired during the day. After reading the side effects pamphlet from the pharmacy, this seems like another common side effect. I know I am getting plenty of sleep but it feels, at times, like I have only gotten an hour's worth of sleep the night before and I am so ready for a nap. I have also gone to bed early some nights as well. On the weekends, I will allow myself to sleep in on Saturdays. Sometimes, that does not work as I am awake by 7:00 a.m. and ready to go. Thank goodness for naps.
Another side effect I am experiencing is that I might wake up some time during the night like I am ready to start my day. At that point, I will get up and go watch t.v. or I will try to do something crafty (knit or crochet) or read to try and get myself to go back to sleep. Sometimes it takes longer than other nights but eventually I do go back to sleep. It is not an every night occurrence but it does happen frequently enough.
I have noticed I have wanted to be a little bit more vocal on talking back to people or complaining about stuff. I really have to try and watch that at work. That is a little bit out of character for me to do and I am "blaming" that on this new drug.
I am really hoping that this drug will work for me. I will not know until another CT Scan is done to know if it did (or did not) help but I am really hoping that all these side effects of Femara will be worth it.
If you have taken Femara, did you have any similar side effects? Did it help you with your cancer? Let me know how you "enjoyed" it! (That was a little sarcasim mixed in with some laughter!!)
Jenn
Femara is usually given to breast cancer patients. It somehow works to block estrogen (I believe) or at least some hormone I produce. I thought that if it might help, this is okay and let's try it. There are some side effects (what drug does not have side effects?!) with this drug.
Since it blocks some hormone's, I have been getting some menopause symptoms. Mainly, some hot flashes. I am not at all liking these little new occurrence's!! They seem to happen at most any time during the day, or not. One minute I feel fine and the next I feel like someone turned on a heater inside me. Since taking it, I have had two days at work where I did start to sweat. I really did go to the bathroom to rub a towel that I had run under cold water on the back of my neck to try to help me cool down. I have also awoke feeling like my bed was a sauna and was sweating a little bit as well. Really, I can do without this part!!
Also, I have felt a bit more tired during the day. After reading the side effects pamphlet from the pharmacy, this seems like another common side effect. I know I am getting plenty of sleep but it feels, at times, like I have only gotten an hour's worth of sleep the night before and I am so ready for a nap. I have also gone to bed early some nights as well. On the weekends, I will allow myself to sleep in on Saturdays. Sometimes, that does not work as I am awake by 7:00 a.m. and ready to go. Thank goodness for naps.
Another side effect I am experiencing is that I might wake up some time during the night like I am ready to start my day. At that point, I will get up and go watch t.v. or I will try to do something crafty (knit or crochet) or read to try and get myself to go back to sleep. Sometimes it takes longer than other nights but eventually I do go back to sleep. It is not an every night occurrence but it does happen frequently enough.
I have noticed I have wanted to be a little bit more vocal on talking back to people or complaining about stuff. I really have to try and watch that at work. That is a little bit out of character for me to do and I am "blaming" that on this new drug.
I am really hoping that this drug will work for me. I will not know until another CT Scan is done to know if it did (or did not) help but I am really hoping that all these side effects of Femara will be worth it.
If you have taken Femara, did you have any similar side effects? Did it help you with your cancer? Let me know how you "enjoyed" it! (That was a little sarcasim mixed in with some laughter!!)
Jenn
Thursday, July 4, 2013
No Chemo = Hair
Since chemo was suspended for me, my hair started to come back. I had quite enjoyed the "benefits" of no hair. Mainly, that means no shaving and I liked that!! I liked it a lot!! However, I had a few worries about having to wear something on the old head during the summer had I still had no hair. My hat was great but it was wool and that would be hot when it would be in the 90's.
I am glad to be getting hair back. That makes me feel a little bit more normal. I even tried combing it the other day. I think I was just amusing myself a little on that one. Gotta find humor somewhere?
So, hello hair!! I did miss you but I did enjoy not having to shave. I can't have it all!!
Jenn
Friday, June 28, 2013
A Bit of Good News
Okay, so I am a little late in sharing my good news on my blog here. So, let me update now while I am thinking about it!!
The Avastin has been working for me!! The last CT Scan showed that the growth in the pelvic region has shrank some. (A little side humor but after a hysterectomy and then having my ovaries taken out in January, what on Earth is this mass attached too?!) Also, the cancer market test, CA125, is now under 200!! Plus, we got results back from my fluid and I will be starting on a new cycle of chemo and Avastin one week, chemo the next and the third week is nothing. Plus a hormone pill normally given to those with breast cancer.
The week I got those results, it was good to hear. Glad that something has started working for me!! We will see how the new treatments go and how long I will have to do them. Otherwise, it is good!!
Thanks for stopping by!!
Jenn
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Discomfort
So, it seems as if I have been having some discomfort getting up from a seated position or sleeping since the last fluid removal. Some days have been really great while others have just been bad.
On my last visit with the nurse practitioner I discussed this with her. We talked about some pain medicine to help with this problem. I got something to take at night to help with sleep. It has definitely helped as I did not want to go for several nights with little sleep as that will just keep making it hard for the next day. The medicine is not very narcotic but it does help to take my mind off the pain and working around the office a bit easier. We had discussed a little about some "day" medicine as I still wanted to work and something that makes me sleepy just was not going to do. It is helping and am glad she suggested this type of "day" medicine.
When trying to describe how painful this was, I tried not to use the word painful or that it was really bad. I wanted to save those terms for when things REALLY feel bad. Then, I want the nurse practitioner to know that it is bad if I say it is painful or hurts really bad. I really hope that nothing gets that bad but I do not know what will happen tomorrow.
Sometimes, I have tried to take a minute and try to calm down. Sometimes when things are uncomfortable, I get a little "wound up" about not feeling good. I will try to calm my breathing and calm my thoughts and focus on something else. Sometimes I do not want to totally rely on pain medicine and use it only when I really need it.
Dealing with pain is different for everyone. Your pain level is going to be different than mine. So, try not to judge how others choose to deal with pain. It is hard to say how you might deal with the same pain.
What do you like to use to deal with pain - medicine or other techniques?
Jenn
Friday, May 31, 2013
Feelings
I think that so far I have been writing about what procedures have been done on me and quick little moments of how I feel about those procedures. I do not think I have written too much about how I feel emotionally about all of this. So, I thought I would take this time to talk a little bit about it so far. I hope you do not mind my ramblings.
I do not know if I have dealt well with being diagnosed with cancer. I do not know if I really let myself "explore" those feelings. I have been slightly afraid that if I do, I might end up in bed crying for the next three days. I did not want to be that girl who felt sorry for herself and used cancer as an excuse to not do things or to get out of doing some things. I have wanted to feel somewhat normal though. As normal as I could with chemo, hair loss, fatigue and going back to work.
I am lucky that the nurse practioner at my oncology office "checks in" on me emotionally. She will ask some questions and I have gotten more comfortable speaking with her about how I feel. I am glad that she is someone I can talk to about this experience and that she makes me feel comfortable enough to bring up what I may think are silly questions.
I am also glad that most everyone has treated me "normally" and has not put on kid gloves with me. It is okay if you do though. I do not mind but it is nice if you treat me as normal as possible.
I also get a little tired by the time I get home from work. I am getting in the "hours" of sleep but I just feel wore out. Sometimes that is a bit hard to deal with as my mind says "We have stuff we need to do" but my body may so "No, I am tired!!" So I will try to see what I really need to do and then get that done. Weekends are great for catching up on rest, television shows and some crafty stuff!!
I am trying to deal with this in a positive manner though. I do have times where I get down, discouraged and just plain old crying over this cancer thing. That is normal and okay. I try to remember that it is okay to feel these emotions but I do not want to dwell on them. Instead, I want to do something good, something positive, something where I feel like I have accomplished something.
Thank you to all who have "checked in" on me as well. It does mean a lot that you all care enough to see how I am really doing and feeling. Thank you!! Also, your encouragement helps a lot too!! I do appreciate that!!
Jenn
I do not know if I have dealt well with being diagnosed with cancer. I do not know if I really let myself "explore" those feelings. I have been slightly afraid that if I do, I might end up in bed crying for the next three days. I did not want to be that girl who felt sorry for herself and used cancer as an excuse to not do things or to get out of doing some things. I have wanted to feel somewhat normal though. As normal as I could with chemo, hair loss, fatigue and going back to work.
I am lucky that the nurse practioner at my oncology office "checks in" on me emotionally. She will ask some questions and I have gotten more comfortable speaking with her about how I feel. I am glad that she is someone I can talk to about this experience and that she makes me feel comfortable enough to bring up what I may think are silly questions.
I am also glad that most everyone has treated me "normally" and has not put on kid gloves with me. It is okay if you do though. I do not mind but it is nice if you treat me as normal as possible.
I also get a little tired by the time I get home from work. I am getting in the "hours" of sleep but I just feel wore out. Sometimes that is a bit hard to deal with as my mind says "We have stuff we need to do" but my body may so "No, I am tired!!" So I will try to see what I really need to do and then get that done. Weekends are great for catching up on rest, television shows and some crafty stuff!!
I am trying to deal with this in a positive manner though. I do have times where I get down, discouraged and just plain old crying over this cancer thing. That is normal and okay. I try to remember that it is okay to feel these emotions but I do not want to dwell on them. Instead, I want to do something good, something positive, something where I feel like I have accomplished something.
Thank you to all who have "checked in" on me as well. It does mean a lot that you all care enough to see how I am really doing and feeling. Thank you!! Also, your encouragement helps a lot too!! I do appreciate that!!
Jenn
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Recent Fluid Evacuation
Yesterday I had fluid removed from my lung area. It was not in my lung but like between my lung and rib area in my back. This procedure is called a thoracentesis. Fun? No, not really but I feel better. I was expecting to have a paracentesis done as well but after both a nurse and a radiologist checked it out by ultrasound, there was not enough fluid to remove so I did not have that procedure done. I was hoping for both but really, the thoracentesis ended up being just what I needed to have done. Usually, both procedures are NOT done at the same time. Just do not expect you can do both like I was expecting to do.
The purpose of taking the fluid from the lung area was so that cancer cells could be grown and tested with other chemo agents to add to my treatment of Avastin. I have no idea how long this will take for the lab to do. It seems very high tech kind of stuff to me but that is cool that this can be done now. I do not mind.
The fluid is "drained" off the area once you are numbed up enough. I do not think there was enough numbing but I would have hated to try this without any numbing of the back area. I did not feel much but what I did feel was like a large pin prick or a large bee sting. Very attention getting and a bit uncomfortable. I was awake for all of it and talking to the two nurses and radiologist to try and get my mind off as much of the procedure as possible. That did help to hear about a wedding one of the nurses went to over the weekend.
Again, I was very lucky to have people who had good humor and would talk to me about something "silly" and know how to help so I did not terribly freak out or complain. Afterwards, I had a chest x-ray to make sure everything looked like it should, and it did!! I was monitored for about two hours and then Husband came to pick me up. We went to lunch afterwards. (I was moving a bit slow out of caution but we did not have to really hurry anywhere so that helped too.)
I now can say that I am glad I did this. I feel much better and I am only a little sore at the injection site. I think that might be a bit normal because needles and other things were used during the process. I did not sleep very well last night but am quite sure I will tonight!! I would like to avoid doing this procedure again but will if I absolutely need to. I would rather do the paracentesis over the thoracentesis any day!! But I am getting a "hands-on" medical education about some procedures?
Jenn
The purpose of taking the fluid from the lung area was so that cancer cells could be grown and tested with other chemo agents to add to my treatment of Avastin. I have no idea how long this will take for the lab to do. It seems very high tech kind of stuff to me but that is cool that this can be done now. I do not mind.
The fluid is "drained" off the area once you are numbed up enough. I do not think there was enough numbing but I would have hated to try this without any numbing of the back area. I did not feel much but what I did feel was like a large pin prick or a large bee sting. Very attention getting and a bit uncomfortable. I was awake for all of it and talking to the two nurses and radiologist to try and get my mind off as much of the procedure as possible. That did help to hear about a wedding one of the nurses went to over the weekend.
Again, I was very lucky to have people who had good humor and would talk to me about something "silly" and know how to help so I did not terribly freak out or complain. Afterwards, I had a chest x-ray to make sure everything looked like it should, and it did!! I was monitored for about two hours and then Husband came to pick me up. We went to lunch afterwards. (I was moving a bit slow out of caution but we did not have to really hurry anywhere so that helped too.)
I now can say that I am glad I did this. I feel much better and I am only a little sore at the injection site. I think that might be a bit normal because needles and other things were used during the process. I did not sleep very well last night but am quite sure I will tonight!! I would like to avoid doing this procedure again but will if I absolutely need to. I would rather do the paracentesis over the thoracentesis any day!! But I am getting a "hands-on" medical education about some procedures?
Jenn
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Fluid Evacuation!!
My doctor finally got the recommendation from the other doctor in Northern Virginia. Yahoo!! Now, the fluid will be taken off my lung area for testing for another chemo drug to use in connection with the Avastin.
I am excited to know if there is another chemo that can work with the Avastin. I hope that one is found that I can use. However, I am a little prepared for the news of nothing worked. I guess it is the prepare for the worst and hope for the best kind of attitude going on with me.
Also, fluid on the abdomen area will be taken off in the same visit. Usually, both procedures are not done at the same time. Somehow the nurse at the doctor's office pulled some strings and both will be done during in the same visit. I am so glad as I had been somewhat uncomfortable while going to sleep so that is why I spoke up. And I am glad I did!!
Am I nervous to do both in the same day? Yes, yes I am. There are always risks with everything. I am remind of how I felt after the last fluid was taken off. I did feel better. I am also thinking of how the doctor is trying to find something to help treat me. I will try to do what I can to help out!!
So, here goes nothing!!
Jenn
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Northern Virginia Doctor Consultation
So, after finding a growth in the CT Scan, my doctor realized the two chemo drugs I was receiving was not working. He was not sure why and wanted me to go to another doctor to talk about what to do next. That doctor just happened to be in Northern Virginia. Four hour car ride!!
My dad, his wife and my husband made the trek up there the night before. I do not think any of us was familiar with the area but was lucky enough to not get lost!! Our hotel had an IHOP attached to it and that was our breakfast and dinner while we were there.
I was nervous to talk with the doctor. My main fear was some really bad news. He did say that I feel into a percentage of people who did not respond to a particular chemo. He did say that there are other chemo treatments I can try.
As far as finding out which chemo to try, my best bet would be to take some fluid off my lung area, grow the cancer cells from there and test it against the other chemo drugs used in ovarian cancer. I think he said there was about 15 other drugs that would be possible. If I right, which ever chemo works best is the one yo be added to my treatment.
The doctor also suggested genetic testing to see if I carry a gene for breast and ovarian cancer. If it is found that I do carry the gene, my sister might have to get tested as well. That is a scary thought to know that she has a chance of this as well. First we will have to see about if I have the gene or not before anyone else is tested. One step at a time!!
The doctor also said that as of right now, my current treatment of Avastin was the right path to go. That was good to know. Also, I can stay on the Avastin while on chemo. I will try to talk a bit more about Avastin in another post.
I was very glad this doctor knew a direction to go in. He knew how to talk to us in simple to understand terms. No big fancy terms we would have to look up later!! He definitely had experience on his side!!
I am ready to get started on getting this fluid for testing. Not sure how long this process will take. This doctor will also send his recommendations to my doctor so he will know what to do for me. I am excited and nervous about this all wrapped up into one.
Praying for good news!!
Jenn
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Some Growth
So, when I went to the Emergency Room I had a CT Scan. The fluid was confirmed but there was also something I was not expecting.
There was another growth. Yeah, that was definitely NOT what I wanted to hear. So, off to the doctor I go!!
Apparently, the chemo drugs I was receiving was not working for me. That was a little hard to hear because I was really wanting it to hear from the doctor that this was working and that I only have a few more treatments to go.
So, now what? My doctor set me up with a consultation with another doctor who may know something else to do for treatment. Is there another treatment for me?
In the interim, the doctor switched me to another cancer drug called Avastin. It will not have the same side effects as the chemo but there are some other side effects I have to watch out for. The main one is high blood pressure.
So, waiting to see the new doctor for my consultation. I wonder what that will bring?!
Jenn
There was another growth. Yeah, that was definitely NOT what I wanted to hear. So, off to the doctor I go!!
Apparently, the chemo drugs I was receiving was not working for me. That was a little hard to hear because I was really wanting it to hear from the doctor that this was working and that I only have a few more treatments to go.
So, now what? My doctor set me up with a consultation with another doctor who may know something else to do for treatment. Is there another treatment for me?
In the interim, the doctor switched me to another cancer drug called Avastin. It will not have the same side effects as the chemo but there are some other side effects I have to watch out for. The main one is high blood pressure.
So, waiting to see the new doctor for my consultation. I wonder what that will bring?!
Jenn
Friday, May 3, 2013
Umm....There is Fluid in There!!
When I had my surgery, the doctor took out four liters of fluid. If you have never had fluid in your abdomen area, be glad. I got a little bloated due to the fluid but mainly bloated due to the tumor. Also, if I turned quickly to the right or to the left, I could feel the fluid "flow" that way. Odd feeling!! Just plain old weird. I had hoped that would be the end of the fluid and it would not come back.
Well, the fluid did come back. It seemed to take some time to build up to where I was uncomfortable. My doctor's office was trying to get in me in for a CT Scan of my abdomen but that was a whole mess with the insurance company. Essentially, the denied it. They wanted to do a Peer to Peer Review with the doctor. The young lady who tries to set these types of appointments up said that the Peer to Peer Reviews usually do not go well. That was not sounding good at all. She also told me that if I got to the point of being uncomfortable, I could go ahead to a local Emergency Room and see what happened there.
After much talk with my husband, I went to a local Emergency Room. They did a CT Scan there and I had fluid in my abdomen. (Not like I did not know that anyway but at least it was confirmed!) The Emergency Room physician explained that I had two choices - see if the Radiology Department there at the hospital could "fit" me into their schedule tomorrow but I would have to stay overnight or I could go home and talk it over with my doctor. I asked the doctor to see if I could be fit in with the Radiology Department tomorrow and if I could be, I would stay overnight. Luck was on my side!!
I spent overnight in an Observation Room and really did not know what time I was going to be seen by someone in the Radiology Department. Lucky for me, they came at about 8:00 a.m. and I was on my way!!
The procedure was not as bad as I had made it out to be in my head. There were two ladies there that were as nice as can be!! I really enjoyed talking with them and our conversation seemed to be focused a lot on travel. Nice way to take my mind off getting poked and being drained. They did an ultrasound, found the fluid and figured out to take it out on my left side. Now, I am going to describe this process but it was not really painful as I thought it would be.
What they did was to numb an area on the lower side of my stomach. They also used a needle to numb me a bit below the skin. Thank goodness!! After I was good and numb as can be, a tube was inserted in the area and the fluid started to drain out. The fluid was an amber like color. It was not clear but it looked as normal as can be according to the ladies there. So glad it all looked okay.
Ready for this? They drained three and a half liters out of me!! Wow!! I could not believe that I had accumulated that much fluid!! What the heck was going on there? I think it is some way for the body to deal with the cancer in my body but do not hold me to that. If you want a correct answer, ask your doctor!! They probably will know better than me!!
Once that was done, I ended up calling my doctors office to let them know so if they needed to obtain those records, they could do so. I also ended up with an appointment with my doctor to discuss this and a few other new things. (That will be covered in a later post.)
The name of this procedure was called Paracentesis. It did not hurt too much. All I really felt was a prick, or two. I really felt a lot of relief once the fluid was out. I was not as uncomfortable as I was the day before. How nice was that!!
Will this happen again? Probably. Will I have to do it again? Probably. At least I know what to expect and the doctor and nurse practitioner can keep an eye on it. If it does have to be done again, we can just go ahead and set up an appointment to get it done without having to go to the Emergency Room and that whole deal again. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens.
Thanks for stopping by!!
Jenn
Well, the fluid did come back. It seemed to take some time to build up to where I was uncomfortable. My doctor's office was trying to get in me in for a CT Scan of my abdomen but that was a whole mess with the insurance company. Essentially, the denied it. They wanted to do a Peer to Peer Review with the doctor. The young lady who tries to set these types of appointments up said that the Peer to Peer Reviews usually do not go well. That was not sounding good at all. She also told me that if I got to the point of being uncomfortable, I could go ahead to a local Emergency Room and see what happened there.
After much talk with my husband, I went to a local Emergency Room. They did a CT Scan there and I had fluid in my abdomen. (Not like I did not know that anyway but at least it was confirmed!) The Emergency Room physician explained that I had two choices - see if the Radiology Department there at the hospital could "fit" me into their schedule tomorrow but I would have to stay overnight or I could go home and talk it over with my doctor. I asked the doctor to see if I could be fit in with the Radiology Department tomorrow and if I could be, I would stay overnight. Luck was on my side!!
I spent overnight in an Observation Room and really did not know what time I was going to be seen by someone in the Radiology Department. Lucky for me, they came at about 8:00 a.m. and I was on my way!!
The procedure was not as bad as I had made it out to be in my head. There were two ladies there that were as nice as can be!! I really enjoyed talking with them and our conversation seemed to be focused a lot on travel. Nice way to take my mind off getting poked and being drained. They did an ultrasound, found the fluid and figured out to take it out on my left side. Now, I am going to describe this process but it was not really painful as I thought it would be.
What they did was to numb an area on the lower side of my stomach. They also used a needle to numb me a bit below the skin. Thank goodness!! After I was good and numb as can be, a tube was inserted in the area and the fluid started to drain out. The fluid was an amber like color. It was not clear but it looked as normal as can be according to the ladies there. So glad it all looked okay.
Ready for this? They drained three and a half liters out of me!! Wow!! I could not believe that I had accumulated that much fluid!! What the heck was going on there? I think it is some way for the body to deal with the cancer in my body but do not hold me to that. If you want a correct answer, ask your doctor!! They probably will know better than me!!
Once that was done, I ended up calling my doctors office to let them know so if they needed to obtain those records, they could do so. I also ended up with an appointment with my doctor to discuss this and a few other new things. (That will be covered in a later post.)
The name of this procedure was called Paracentesis. It did not hurt too much. All I really felt was a prick, or two. I really felt a lot of relief once the fluid was out. I was not as uncomfortable as I was the day before. How nice was that!!
Will this happen again? Probably. Will I have to do it again? Probably. At least I know what to expect and the doctor and nurse practitioner can keep an eye on it. If it does have to be done again, we can just go ahead and set up an appointment to get it done without having to go to the Emergency Room and that whole deal again. I guess I will just have to wait and see what happens.
Thanks for stopping by!!
Jenn
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Hair and Chemo
I had debated a little if I had wanted to post anything about hair loss and chemo. I hope maybe this post will help someone better understand how I am coping with it.
You should expect to start losing hair after your first chemo. It is just gonna happen but you may take a little longer to lose your hair or it may go quicker. Just be prepared that it will go. I think I understood this but once it started happening, it seemed more real.
My hair had been coming out a little since my surgery in January. A little after my first chemo treatment, I got out of the shower that morning and my hair started coming out in larger clumps. I did not have long hair but it was still a little crazy. I realized that I needed to cut it. I had a little mini melt down over it. Luckily, Husband was there to help and listen to me mumble on about it.
A local chain of salons was having a hair cut special. A little under $6.00 and you can get it cut. I went there and ended up finding a kind woman who was not shocked about why I was there for a hair cut. She made me feel like she had people come in every day and had the same problem. She even offered help should I buy a wig and need to style it or cut it. I do not think that she knew how much that meant to me. By her acting like this was completely normal calmed my nerves and made me feel better.
Since then, I have lost most of my hair. I have yet to try a wig. I have a brown hat my sister bought me that I completely love to wear. Plus there are some more accessories to try since Summer is coming and I do not think this hat will work in the hot weather.
So, I have lost hair in some other places as well. I cannot tell you this is the same for everyone but it is my normal for now. My eyebrows are evacuating and I have a few hairs left there. I am now that lady that is painting on her eyebrows. Since my hair was brown, I am trying to stick with a soft brown but you can tell they are drawn on. Luckily, no one stares at them like they look so out of place!
Also, I have not had to shave my legs and underarms. I wish that would great for always but we will see. My legs do feel a little prickly like I have not shaved in about two days but it has actually been about two months. I like this part!!
There may be other places that the hair will leave. I think it is just different for everyone. It is okay.
I think what helped me is being around others who had this happen to them. Other ladies at my doctor's office were hats or wigs also. I think that helped to see others who were confident in their new hats or head wear. Plus, the chemo nurses listened to me and knowing that they know about this and deal with it daily, I felt good about talking to them about it. It definitely helped me.
The only advice I can give to you is that to give it time. It is scary at first. Talking to others help. Also, having people who do not make a big deal of it is good too. If someone wants to cry on your shoulder about it, just listen to them. You may be tempted to tell them to not worry about it, it will grow back and things like that. Husband told me those things which did help me. Sometimes, a person just needs you to listen to them or just be there for them.
So, here is a picture of my hair when it first was starting to fall out. It is all good now. I do not mind now. It is my normal for now!!
Jenn
You should expect to start losing hair after your first chemo. It is just gonna happen but you may take a little longer to lose your hair or it may go quicker. Just be prepared that it will go. I think I understood this but once it started happening, it seemed more real.
My hair had been coming out a little since my surgery in January. A little after my first chemo treatment, I got out of the shower that morning and my hair started coming out in larger clumps. I did not have long hair but it was still a little crazy. I realized that I needed to cut it. I had a little mini melt down over it. Luckily, Husband was there to help and listen to me mumble on about it.
A local chain of salons was having a hair cut special. A little under $6.00 and you can get it cut. I went there and ended up finding a kind woman who was not shocked about why I was there for a hair cut. She made me feel like she had people come in every day and had the same problem. She even offered help should I buy a wig and need to style it or cut it. I do not think that she knew how much that meant to me. By her acting like this was completely normal calmed my nerves and made me feel better.
Since then, I have lost most of my hair. I have yet to try a wig. I have a brown hat my sister bought me that I completely love to wear. Plus there are some more accessories to try since Summer is coming and I do not think this hat will work in the hot weather.
So, I have lost hair in some other places as well. I cannot tell you this is the same for everyone but it is my normal for now. My eyebrows are evacuating and I have a few hairs left there. I am now that lady that is painting on her eyebrows. Since my hair was brown, I am trying to stick with a soft brown but you can tell they are drawn on. Luckily, no one stares at them like they look so out of place!
Also, I have not had to shave my legs and underarms. I wish that would great for always but we will see. My legs do feel a little prickly like I have not shaved in about two days but it has actually been about two months. I like this part!!
There may be other places that the hair will leave. I think it is just different for everyone. It is okay.
I think what helped me is being around others who had this happen to them. Other ladies at my doctor's office were hats or wigs also. I think that helped to see others who were confident in their new hats or head wear. Plus, the chemo nurses listened to me and knowing that they know about this and deal with it daily, I felt good about talking to them about it. It definitely helped me.
The only advice I can give to you is that to give it time. It is scary at first. Talking to others help. Also, having people who do not make a big deal of it is good too. If someone wants to cry on your shoulder about it, just listen to them. You may be tempted to tell them to not worry about it, it will grow back and things like that. Husband told me those things which did help me. Sometimes, a person just needs you to listen to them or just be there for them.
So, here is a picture of my hair when it first was starting to fall out. It is all good now. I do not mind now. It is my normal for now!!
Jenn
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Smell Since Starting Chemo
Okay, so this is my personal experience with how my smell has changed some since I started chemo. If you or someone you know is or has gone through chemo, smell can be different for you or them. Just thought I would put it out there first and say that everyone is different. This is my experience.
So, since starting chemo my smell has changed a bit. Some smells are now stronger. I have never really liked the smell of seafood. Now, it is almost like I can smell seafood from a mile away!! (Not literally of course but it seems like that now.)
Sometimes I can smell perfume in a crowd where as before it really did not bother me. The perfume was not bad but I could just smell it more than before.
I have not had a lot of bad experiences with smell. I hope that I really do not that it does not get worse though. It makes me wonder if others have some smells get stronger or now smells bad where as it did not before.
Sometimes I do smell things where others may not smell it. That has been a little weird too. I will sometimes smell things, ask someone if they smell that smell and most of the time they do not.
I hope my smell goes back to my normal after chemo. I think that would be a real nice thing!!
Jenn
So, since starting chemo my smell has changed a bit. Some smells are now stronger. I have never really liked the smell of seafood. Now, it is almost like I can smell seafood from a mile away!! (Not literally of course but it seems like that now.)
Sometimes I can smell perfume in a crowd where as before it really did not bother me. The perfume was not bad but I could just smell it more than before.
I have not had a lot of bad experiences with smell. I hope that I really do not that it does not get worse though. It makes me wonder if others have some smells get stronger or now smells bad where as it did not before.
Sometimes I do smell things where others may not smell it. That has been a little weird too. I will sometimes smell things, ask someone if they smell that smell and most of the time they do not.
I hope my smell goes back to my normal after chemo. I think that would be a real nice thing!!
Jenn
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Chemo Treatments #2 and #3
So, here I am again to tell you about my second and third chemo treatments. Really, they were not much different from the first one other than I had to do blood work and see the nurse practitioner on the same day. The treatment went a little faster as well. Instead of taking the whole time, it took about an hour or so less just to get the chemo but having blood work done and seeing the nurse practitioner took up some time.
Getting these treatments is almost like a whole work day in the amount of hours that I am there at the doctor's office. I go in at about 8:00 a.m. or 8:30 a.m. to get started and usually finish up around 3:30 p.m. or 4:00 p.m.. Plus, I cannot drive to the treatments myself as I get Benadryl and another medicine that makes me drowsy. I have been lucky to have some great friends and family to take me to my treatments. They have stayed most of the time with me but I have given them the option to drop me off and then pick me back up if they want to do so. I do not want to hog someone else's whole day if they need to do something as well that day.
The treatments have been sped up a bit since the first one. The first treatment they were mainly watching to see if I had any kind of reaction to the treatment itself. I did okay and now it is full steam ahead on the treatment! The one difference I can tell you is that I get REALLY drowsy. I will nod off from time to time but that seems to be a pretty normal thing to do judging from the other patients who are there getting their chemo as well. I do have some conversations with others there and my friend who brought me but I am so "loopy" that I am thinking that I hope the conversation makes sense to them. It is weird to be hoping that what I am saying is making sense, hoping it is following along with the conversation. So far, no one has looked at me too weird while having a conversation.
Well, chemo side effects are not great but they are not as terrible as I thought they would be. I will save this topic for another post.
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
Getting these treatments is almost like a whole work day in the amount of hours that I am there at the doctor's office. I go in at about 8:00 a.m. or 8:30 a.m. to get started and usually finish up around 3:30 p.m. or 4:00 p.m.. Plus, I cannot drive to the treatments myself as I get Benadryl and another medicine that makes me drowsy. I have been lucky to have some great friends and family to take me to my treatments. They have stayed most of the time with me but I have given them the option to drop me off and then pick me back up if they want to do so. I do not want to hog someone else's whole day if they need to do something as well that day.
The treatments have been sped up a bit since the first one. The first treatment they were mainly watching to see if I had any kind of reaction to the treatment itself. I did okay and now it is full steam ahead on the treatment! The one difference I can tell you is that I get REALLY drowsy. I will nod off from time to time but that seems to be a pretty normal thing to do judging from the other patients who are there getting their chemo as well. I do have some conversations with others there and my friend who brought me but I am so "loopy" that I am thinking that I hope the conversation makes sense to them. It is weird to be hoping that what I am saying is making sense, hoping it is following along with the conversation. So far, no one has looked at me too weird while having a conversation.
Well, chemo side effects are not great but they are not as terrible as I thought they would be. I will save this topic for another post.
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Chemo Treatment #1
Time for my first chemo treatment and I am nervous. I think that I am nervous because this is my first time. My chemo treatments are done in the same office building as my doctor so this is nice!!
For the first treatment, I will receive everything slowly so that the nurses can monitor my progress and check for any reactions I may have to any of the medicines. It is also so nice to have my sister with me!!
Since I get Benadryl as part of the treatment, it is recommended that someone else drive you home. So glad of that!! I was sleepy and definitely not able to drive very good!!
Also, my hair will start to fall out about 18 to 21 days after this first treatment. Not excited about that. I will discuss the hair in a different post as it can be a little bit of a freak out moment (at least for me).
After the first treatment, the medicine will not be given as slowly. Wonder how that will be?
So, I will post about my hair in a different post (some did come out) but the first treatment was not as bad as I had built it up to be. Thank goodness!!
Okay, I will have more for you all later!! Thanks for stopping by and reading!!
Jenn
For the first treatment, I will receive everything slowly so that the nurses can monitor my progress and check for any reactions I may have to any of the medicines. It is also so nice to have my sister with me!!
Since I get Benadryl as part of the treatment, it is recommended that someone else drive you home. So glad of that!! I was sleepy and definitely not able to drive very good!!
Also, my hair will start to fall out about 18 to 21 days after this first treatment. Not excited about that. I will discuss the hair in a different post as it can be a little bit of a freak out moment (at least for me).
After the first treatment, the medicine will not be given as slowly. Wonder how that will be?
So, I will post about my hair in a different post (some did come out) but the first treatment was not as bad as I had built it up to be. Thank goodness!!
Okay, I will have more for you all later!! Thanks for stopping by and reading!!
Jenn
Friday, March 8, 2013
Reflections on Life So Far
Last night I was not sleeping so well. It was probably due to a nice long nap in the late afternoon but I just did not sleep well last night. I had some time to reflect on life so far. I hope this is something that some people with cancer will do. I had those thoughts of doing things over, what would I do differently and how happy am I right where I am now.
Would I do anything over as I look back on my life? Sure, there are a few things I would do differently. But if I did, would I be where I am now? I am not sure. I may have been living somewhere else with a different job, maybe a family, maybe not a family, hopefully with some great friends. Who knows?!
What would I have done differently in my life? I probably would have tried harder to finish college the first time. Maybe avoided a few guys as well. However, that means I may not be where I am today.
Overall, I am pretty happy with my life. I have friends who are pretty awesome, I did finish college, I did get married, I have a job that I actually like going to every day, I have a great boss and work with some great people. Do not get me wrong, I have a few things I hated doing now that I look back on it but I would not be where I am today if everything had gone just peachy. Maybe it is those little lessons that we look back on and think, "Oh why did I do that?" that makes us who we are today? If we had not of messed up like we did, would we still be happy? I try not to think like that. Yes, I had a few bumps but I do like where I am. Are there things I would like to improve upon? Umm, yes!! But I have just got to start working on those things.
So, maybe while I do have a few regrets, things are okay in the grand scheme of things. I just hope this summer I do some stuff I had been putting off. Even if it is just on a smaller scale, I hope to get those things done. Maybe you can too!!
Thanks for listening to my ramblings!!
Jenn
Would I do anything over as I look back on my life? Sure, there are a few things I would do differently. But if I did, would I be where I am now? I am not sure. I may have been living somewhere else with a different job, maybe a family, maybe not a family, hopefully with some great friends. Who knows?!
What would I have done differently in my life? I probably would have tried harder to finish college the first time. Maybe avoided a few guys as well. However, that means I may not be where I am today.
Overall, I am pretty happy with my life. I have friends who are pretty awesome, I did finish college, I did get married, I have a job that I actually like going to every day, I have a great boss and work with some great people. Do not get me wrong, I have a few things I hated doing now that I look back on it but I would not be where I am today if everything had gone just peachy. Maybe it is those little lessons that we look back on and think, "Oh why did I do that?" that makes us who we are today? If we had not of messed up like we did, would we still be happy? I try not to think like that. Yes, I had a few bumps but I do like where I am. Are there things I would like to improve upon? Umm, yes!! But I have just got to start working on those things.
So, maybe while I do have a few regrets, things are okay in the grand scheme of things. I just hope this summer I do some stuff I had been putting off. Even if it is just on a smaller scale, I hope to get those things done. Maybe you can too!!
Thanks for listening to my ramblings!!
Jenn
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Glad to be Home
I am glad to be finally set free from the hospital. As much as I liked the staff there, I do like being home. It was nice to be in my own bed, wear my on clothes and eat normal food.
It is definitely slow going moving around the house. At least I am moving and do not have to worry about having to take an IV pole with me!! Plus some pain medicine helps to get moving and sleep at night.
The one nice thing is having my mom there with me. We got to catch up on some "Young and the Restless" (although I am still confused on some people on there), make some new food and get out and about. Fun times.
After several weeks, I finally start to feel back to being more myself. I do like that. However, I do find I am taking naps in the afternoons but that is okay. I am just trying to go with it and not complain. I k now soon enough I will be back at work and wishing I could complain about there is nothing on the television to watch.
I do have to look forward to my first chemo treatment. Chemo will be once every three weeks for about 6 to 9 times. I am a little anxious about it if the truth be told. I think it is just I do not know what to expect from chemo and that is what makes me anxious.
Until next time!!
Jenn
It is definitely slow going moving around the house. At least I am moving and do not have to worry about having to take an IV pole with me!! Plus some pain medicine helps to get moving and sleep at night.
The one nice thing is having my mom there with me. We got to catch up on some "Young and the Restless" (although I am still confused on some people on there), make some new food and get out and about. Fun times.
After several weeks, I finally start to feel back to being more myself. I do like that. However, I do find I am taking naps in the afternoons but that is okay. I am just trying to go with it and not complain. I k now soon enough I will be back at work and wishing I could complain about there is nothing on the television to watch.
I do have to look forward to my first chemo treatment. Chemo will be once every three weeks for about 6 to 9 times. I am a little anxious about it if the truth be told. I think it is just I do not know what to expect from chemo and that is what makes me anxious.
Until next time!!
Jenn
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Kitty Paper Tounge
Yes, you read that right. What is it and have to do with me? I got to experience it!! I will describe it so you will understand it a bit better.
While in the hospital and then later at home, I took different medicines. Pain medicine, anti-nausea medicine, some hormone medicine and even a stool softener. Good gosh!! It seemed like I even had some choices on two of the medicines. One common thing seemed to be a dry mouth and a tongue that felt like a cross between a cat's tongue and light sand paper. While at the doctor's office I asked a nurse about it and ended up calling it kitty paper tongue. We had a good laugh and then I had to describe it to her. The cause? The medicine.
Once I ended up not using the medicine, I noticed my mouth felt a lot better. No more kitty paper tongue or even real bad cotton ball mouth. If I take the medicine to help with nausea, I do notice some interesting mouth issues but I know what to do to help "live" with the issues.
So, if after taking some medicines and you get a dry mouth or a tongue that feels like a cat or sand paper, it may be normal. But, I would suggest you talk to your doctor about it as everyone is different.
Jenn
While in the hospital and then later at home, I took different medicines. Pain medicine, anti-nausea medicine, some hormone medicine and even a stool softener. Good gosh!! It seemed like I even had some choices on two of the medicines. One common thing seemed to be a dry mouth and a tongue that felt like a cross between a cat's tongue and light sand paper. While at the doctor's office I asked a nurse about it and ended up calling it kitty paper tongue. We had a good laugh and then I had to describe it to her. The cause? The medicine.
Once I ended up not using the medicine, I noticed my mouth felt a lot better. No more kitty paper tongue or even real bad cotton ball mouth. If I take the medicine to help with nausea, I do notice some interesting mouth issues but I know what to do to help "live" with the issues.
So, if after taking some medicines and you get a dry mouth or a tongue that feels like a cat or sand paper, it may be normal. But, I would suggest you talk to your doctor about it as everyone is different.
Jenn
Friday, February 15, 2013
Staple Removal
I got lucky to get staples after surgery. Lucky me right? I am definitely not looking forward to getting these out. I never had staples from surgery so I never had them removed and I do not know what it is going to be like to get them out. I think my mind might be making it worse than it might end up actually being. Crossing my fingers!!
So, it is the big day!! I like the nurse so I am hoping this will be good. My mom counted about 68 staples. The remover looks all crazy and not like the normal office staple remover. It has more of a handle and like a beak thing to get the individual staple. Oh no!!
The nurse was awesome!! She took it at a slow and steady pace. There were a few that were a little twisted so that was a little uncomfortable but nothing crazy. She also did not mind me asking her questions to help keep my mind off these things coming out. So glad she was okay with that and she could talk and remove staples with the greatest of ease!!
It was not so bad but I would not like to do it again if possible. So thankful for a great lady to get those staples out too!! I have included a picture of a staple I kept for a souvenir. Crazy? I hope not!!
Jenn
So, it is the big day!! I like the nurse so I am hoping this will be good. My mom counted about 68 staples. The remover looks all crazy and not like the normal office staple remover. It has more of a handle and like a beak thing to get the individual staple. Oh no!!
The nurse was awesome!! She took it at a slow and steady pace. There were a few that were a little twisted so that was a little uncomfortable but nothing crazy. She also did not mind me asking her questions to help keep my mind off these things coming out. So glad she was okay with that and she could talk and remove staples with the greatest of ease!!
It was not so bad but I would not like to do it again if possible. So thankful for a great lady to get those staples out too!! I have included a picture of a staple I kept for a souvenir. Crazy? I hope not!!
Jenn
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Port, Port, Who Has a Port?
While in the hospital I was lucky enough to get a port. It is a little device placed under my skin in my chest. It is used for my chemo treatments. I think that my mom asked for it to be put in as I do not remember any discussion about it.
So, for the surgery to put it in I was sedated but was awake for most of it. I really did not feel any of the doctor putting it in. I was even able to talk to the doctor and try to crack a joke or two. I did go to sleep some during the process.
After surgery, I did throw up. I have no idea why but it seemed like it just would not stop. Luckily, the nurses were so awesome and seemed like this was a normal, every day kind of thing. That was nice!! They even helped clean me up!! God bless those ladies!!
It has taken awhile for it to feel "natural" for me. I do not notice it as much anymore, especially when I sleep. That is nice!! I will talk a bit more about it during my first chemo treatment. Am I glad to have it? Yes. Will it come out? I am not sure. I probably should have asked about that. Maybe I will ask about that later.
Jenn
So, for the surgery to put it in I was sedated but was awake for most of it. I really did not feel any of the doctor putting it in. I was even able to talk to the doctor and try to crack a joke or two. I did go to sleep some during the process.
After surgery, I did throw up. I have no idea why but it seemed like it just would not stop. Luckily, the nurses were so awesome and seemed like this was a normal, every day kind of thing. That was nice!! They even helped clean me up!! God bless those ladies!!
It has taken awhile for it to feel "natural" for me. I do not notice it as much anymore, especially when I sleep. That is nice!! I will talk a bit more about it during my first chemo treatment. Am I glad to have it? Yes. Will it come out? I am not sure. I probably should have asked about that. Maybe I will ask about that later.
Jenn
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Surgery
It is finally the day of surgery. At first, I am more excited to know that this mass will come out of me. But, I do have a minute (or a few) where I feel nervous and anxious about the surgery. No backing out now!!
For some reason, I do not do surgery well. It took me awhile to come out of recovery to then be moved to a room. I was definitely glad my mom was there when I got to the room. Yes, as old as I am, I was still glad my mom was there.
The result of the biopsy was that it is Ovarian Cancer. I do not think it set in with me. I think my mom did take it hard. Cancer is still a scary thing. Does anyone ever want to hear the word cancer? I doubt it but it is what it is. Now, what do I do with this new diagnosis? My main focus was just trying to feel normal after surgery.
After surgery, I feel a little out of it. There are nurses wanting vitals, blood work, give me medicine, and a few other things. I'm so glad I had great nurses.
I did not like the food. Who does? A lot of jello and chicken broth. And my personal opinion, do not do the meat broth!! At least the chicken broth reminded of chicken noodle soup. The meat broth just did not taste good at all!! I was not going to get regular food until I made a longer trip to the bathroom. I was starting to get tired of all the broth after a few days!!
Well, after awhile, I was allowed to finally go home. I am excited to go home. I will miss the great staff but will be glad to be home. So long hospital!!
Jenn
For some reason, I do not do surgery well. It took me awhile to come out of recovery to then be moved to a room. I was definitely glad my mom was there when I got to the room. Yes, as old as I am, I was still glad my mom was there.
The result of the biopsy was that it is Ovarian Cancer. I do not think it set in with me. I think my mom did take it hard. Cancer is still a scary thing. Does anyone ever want to hear the word cancer? I doubt it but it is what it is. Now, what do I do with this new diagnosis? My main focus was just trying to feel normal after surgery.
After surgery, I feel a little out of it. There are nurses wanting vitals, blood work, give me medicine, and a few other things. I'm so glad I had great nurses.
I did not like the food. Who does? A lot of jello and chicken broth. And my personal opinion, do not do the meat broth!! At least the chicken broth reminded of chicken noodle soup. The meat broth just did not taste good at all!! I was not going to get regular food until I made a longer trip to the bathroom. I was starting to get tired of all the broth after a few days!!
Well, after awhile, I was allowed to finally go home. I am excited to go home. I will miss the great staff but will be glad to be home. So long hospital!!
Jenn
Monday, February 4, 2013
Something is Wrong
It all started a little after Thanksgiving. I was gaining a little more weight in my abdomen area and a few more problems that finally sent me to a clinic open on the weekend. They did do an x-ray but the doctor did not see anything. He made a suggestion and I was on my way. His suggestion was not working but I thought I just needed to give it some time.
Fast forward to Christmas. My husband and I travelled to see my family. We planned to stay with my mom. By this time I was feeling very uncomfortable. I could not sleep in bed but was sleeping in a recliner. I had gained more weight and just felt wrong. My mom took me to a local emergency room.
I had an x-ray and CT scan completed at the emergency room. The doctor found a mass and thought it was very important that I see my ob/GYN. So, we went back to mom's house. Time for some sleep and then to talk.
We did Christmas early as my husband and I decided to go back home and get in touch with my doctor. It was quick and crazy!!
I finally meet with my doctor who refers me to someone else. We meet with him, set a surgery date and hope I can make it until then. My abdomen had gotten larger and doing some simple things was not easy. My husband was now putting my socks on as I could not do it myself. Driving was not comfortable and so my husband and I were back to car pooling. Surgery seemed like it could not come fast enough!!
I am so looking forward to surgery. I am just ready to get this mass out!! I want to get back to normal. Surgery will be a game changer (and will be its own post).
Keep following!! I will be trying to catch you up to where I am now.
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
Fast forward to Christmas. My husband and I travelled to see my family. We planned to stay with my mom. By this time I was feeling very uncomfortable. I could not sleep in bed but was sleeping in a recliner. I had gained more weight and just felt wrong. My mom took me to a local emergency room.
I had an x-ray and CT scan completed at the emergency room. The doctor found a mass and thought it was very important that I see my ob/GYN. So, we went back to mom's house. Time for some sleep and then to talk.
We did Christmas early as my husband and I decided to go back home and get in touch with my doctor. It was quick and crazy!!
I finally meet with my doctor who refers me to someone else. We meet with him, set a surgery date and hope I can make it until then. My abdomen had gotten larger and doing some simple things was not easy. My husband was now putting my socks on as I could not do it myself. Driving was not comfortable and so my husband and I were back to car pooling. Surgery seemed like it could not come fast enough!!
I am so looking forward to surgery. I am just ready to get this mass out!! I want to get back to normal. Surgery will be a game changer (and will be its own post).
Keep following!! I will be trying to catch you up to where I am now.
Thanks for reading!!
Jenn
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